Results and changes.

Sometime in July, we got notice that the results were finally faxed to PPVI.

They called my husband and told him that he counts were low.  His motility, which should have 60% swimmers, had less than 5%.

All the clomid, letrozole, Folistim, femara, would not have gotten us pregnant with those results.

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At first, I was very angry.  We had purchased, on several occasions, male fertility supplements just to ‘boost our odds’.  G would either forget to take them or decide that he wasn’t the problem and not want to take them.

If you think about it, we had been operating on the premise that I was the only problem.  G had several people ask him if he wanted a son, and his answer was always “Yes, of course, right now I’m the last male in my family to carry on the family name.”

Intentional or not, that would hurt me deeply because at that point, I was the problem and I was there reason his family name would ‘die out’ with him.  (Although, to be fair, our last name is really common.)
So, I was mad, I had been made to feel guilty about my issues.  I had put my body through the hell of repeated rounds of fertility meds, been probed countless times by ultrasound wands, and all he had to do was take supplements to help his odds.

Which. he. didn’t. take.

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Every time i would noticed that the supplements we had purchased, voluntarily, hadn’t been taken, I would ask him.  Do you not want another baby?  Because there is no point in me putting myself through this, if the only thing you have to do is take pills and you aren’t doing it.

Every time he would swear he would take them, every time, he would take them for a few weeks or less, and then stop.
So, now we knew that he was mostly the problem, at this point.  Which it doesn’t seem right or good to quantify the ‘fault’ in this fertility, but since I had been bearing the brunt of it, it felt a little good to know that it wasn’t completely me.  It was us, but mostly him, as I’d had several good ovulatory cycles and had better mucous scores.

I’m still going back and forth with being livid.  After all, the window for endometriosis removal is almost over, and odds are that it could be back, and I’ve already had minor IC flares, which means a major flare could be coming.

It will take 6 months for new semen to be completely matured and that’s just hoping the meds will take.

So far he’s been doing well with remembering to take the pills.  He’s had some side effects and he’s gone as far as to cut down on the amount of dairy he eats, one cup of coffee a day, no soda, lots of water, and no heated seats or hot showers.

We are 2 1/2 months into the medication regimen and will need to do another SA to see if there is an improvement.  If not, I’m not sure what the next step is.

Right now though, I’m staying on HCG, which still sucks, but otherwise, not taking anything else until we know his meds are working.

It’s been nice.  No scheduled sex, no major amount of pills for me.  The only thing that is ticking is the clock for the IC to come back in full force, and the fact that we are running out of money for the house, which, no money will equal no surgery either.

St. Joseph, please sell our house!


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